You can control this, but not that…

Irma Valantinaite
2 min readDec 2, 2022

Every time I have a situation I want to improve or not repeat, I turn to my coaching toolbox, pick the relevant tool and see what can I do differently. Because I can control my actions and how I show up for myself and others.

Then I was like: “wait, probably many people have situations they want to change or at least how they react to them.” So I was thinking I will share one simple drawing to show you what you can and can´t control.

See below.

So when you are in a situation you do not like or in a low mood because of the event that happened, focus on the things you can control about it and not the things you have no impact on.

If you focus on the things, that are out of your control you become more miserable, and you feel hopeless and frustrated.

For example, you cannot control the past — you can learn from it.

You cannot control the future — you can collect a toolbox on how to get through life when it knocks you down.

You cannot control the actions of others — you can control how you react to them.

You cannot control how others live — you can be an example.

Focus on what you can control.

Will you use this tool to reflect on some of the situations?

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Irma Valantinaite

I write about events, that happen in my life and about thoughts that are born in my head in a hope that it will brighten your day.