That time when life happened “for me” not “to me” or “how a problem became a gift”
Have you ever been in a situation where you asked yourself why this is happening to me? I bet you have.
But have you ever thought that this might be happening FOR YOU? Meaning, to help you see things you miss out on, to help you make a change, to help you realize something.
Very often when things do not go our way we think why me, but we can almost always put another angle to it and ask what is this situation trying to tell me? What else can it mean? What can I learn from it?
There are no good or bad situations, but the meaning we assign to them (usually). Let me tell you a quick story from my last week that relates to “why me”.
If you follow me for a while now you know that I am taking part in charity for kids with critical illness and collecting funds. I do that by cycling from Denmark to Paris in 7 days with other like-minded people.
So last week we had a meeting to discuss some practical stuff and it got late when we finished so I really wanted to get home. What did I do? I drove faster than the speed limit allows. Yes. Guilty. And that was not the first time I did it, but it was the first time I was caught and if you live in Denmark you know that this s*** is going to be expensive!!!!
So my first reaction was of course: why is this happening to me? And I was angry and frustrated. But then I still had a good 15 min drive to get home and I was reflecting on what just happened as I always do in many situations (thanks to my coaching education).
The first question I asked myself was: what if this is happening for me and not to me. What if this situation is a gift. Nothing bad really happened. It could have ended much worse. I could have had an accident or I even could have hurt someone by wanting to get home 5 min earlier. Because this is what I literally saved.
The second question I asked: what can I learn from it? To take responsibility for my actions and admit when I was wrong. I learned that every action has a consequence. Some consequences come earlier, some later. I was driving for the last 3 years regularly but never got a ticket. But the day came to face the consequence of my actions. And guess what: I am never speeding again! That´s right. Because I am actually so grateful I got caught. I learned that by driving fast I save a maximum of 5 min, but while doing that I am risking my and others well being, I am stressed and nervous while driving.
Now I relax and enjoy the ride!
So I take this situation as a gift that happened for me to reflect and change. And as a gift, that probably saved me from a much worse ending.
So next time you are in a situation you don´t like, ask yourself:
- Can this happen “for me”, not “to me”?
- Can this be a gift of some kind?
- What is it trying to teach me?
I have so many more stories, where I thought why me, and actually, it was for my good. Have you? Please share, I am really curious.
P.S. Drive safe.
