oh and just to add, this is about values. in relationship they should match. in relationship you want someone like you, not exactly you, but similar, and no - differences do not attract... my value no 1 is health. So you can clearly see now that I want a partner who also really cares about health. being overweight is not healthy. so the weight topic is not about the weight but lifestyle you get as a couple, the state of mind, health aspect, longevity. But that is just my opinion. Because I also would not like myself gaining 20 kg. I would love my boyfriend to come to me and say to pull myself together and do something about it.