How to handle difficult conversations
I get straight to it.
- Know when to speak and when to listen. And listen actively. A lot is said, but a lot is also hidden in non-verbal communication. Sometimes we just want to be heard, that is it.
2. Know the role of feelings. Do not put them aside. Feelings are there, so do not say — Let´s put the feelings aside. No!!! Just no!!! Difficult conversations are happening because we suppress feelings for too long.
3. Say what you mean. Do not make them guess it.
4. Go from battle to learning conversation. What can both parties learn? Can both win in this conversation? The best conversations are when both parties feel happy after the end of it. No winner, no loser.
5. There is no one rule that fits all. Like with raising kids. Difficult conversations are difficult. Accept, that you cannot fix it all. Some people are difficult and whatever you will do will not be good enough. It is not about you! Let´s hope :)
6. Is it the right time, and place to talk? Do we need to calm down, reschedule, or prepare?
7. Invite the other party to find solutions together with you. Make them think and come up with ideas. Maybe even do roleplay?
8. Retrospect. What went well in this conversation and what can be improved?
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