3 most powerful questions in challenging situations
These are the three most powerful questions I ask myself in almost every challenging situation I find myself in:
- What is this situation trying to teach me?
- What can I do for it not to happen again?
- What is this situation telling me about myself?
These three questions help me reflect on my actions: could I have prevented this, or was it out of my hands? If I could have avoided it, then I ask myself the second question — what can I do for it not to happen again. And lastly, I reflect on my behavior, thoughts, patterns, words, and reactions. Is there something I would like to improve?
Because we are very quick to blame everyone else: parents, government, country, rules, friends, strangers, and we avoid taking responsibility. These questions help exactly with that: taking responsibility and looking at the situation honestly.
Example from one of the situations I had recently and how I tackled it.
Situation: drove too fast and got a speeding ticket.
What is it trying to teach me: driving fast is dangerous, not responsible, expensive, and reckless. When speeding you save a max of 5–10 min, but risk a lot. Is it worth it? No.
What can I do to prevent it: drive according to rules, leave earlier, plan better.
What is it telling about myself: How did I react? Do I want to react differently? Here I feel that I went far in life and was proud of how I reacted to it. Of course, I was angry at first, but at myself and my behavior. But it did not last long, maybe 30 min. Then I used these questions and was actually thankful it happened. Can you believe it? Yes! Because if not this fine, maybe I would have ended up in a bad accident next time. Maybe I would have hurt someone… So I took it as a gift that happened for me and not a bad situation that happened to me.
Do you think you will use these questions to reflect on the situation you get into? Or maybe you already have your questions. If yes, please share. Maybe I can add them to my list.
